The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I love Eddie Izzard

Well today is Iae's First Karate Tournament. :)



We will see how he does.



Today is already off to a not so great start. OI.



We where not able to get his hair cut during the week... grrr.. so now he looks all scruffy.. : sighs:



I have still to finish sewing the patches on his uniform.. I had to ask, for the 4th time, the Instructors where the patches where supposed to go.. and low and behold.. I put the damn patch on wrong because I got conflicting information.. LOVELY..



So now I am taking out stitches currently and frustrated as all get up.



The Main instructor, and owner of the school, kept telling me to just take it to this alteration place.. They know where to put everything....



I finnaly told him look.. Despite some of your parents that come here, I am not made of money. I can't justify spending x amount of $ to get patches sewn on a karate uniform when I have a sewing machine and sewing needles. I have to do this myself.



I guess he has some deal worked out with the alteration place by where is school used to be located. Good for them.



Grrr.



Now I need to figure out something to do with my son's hair. LOL.



Wish him luck!!!! He has been practicing hard, even while sick, for this tournament.



:) :)

Things that make one cry themselves to sleep at night...





****

Last night I wrote:





What did I do wrong?

You do not even wish to talk to me... You said so yourself.



You have run out of things to say... Your words not mine.



You don't want me waiting around for you.. Again your words not mine.



I told you that I would wait for you forever.. That seemed to be ok for about 5 minutes.



You threw up some excuse about doing dishes and then cooking for yourself.



I said I was ok with that.



You said part of what makes our relationship great is that we can just be together and not have to say anything.



I pointed out that you are hundreds of thousands of miles away.. 14 hours ahead of me over 13 time zones away.



Have we reached that part in our life that we simply have nothing to say to each other about anything? Nothing at all?



Where did I go wrong?





******

Khornesone's response this morning:



You haven't done anything wrong.



I'm just out of words.



I'm out of words to describe how much I miss you; they never did justice to the longing in my heart anyway.



I'm out of words to convey how frustrating it is to be stuck here, when you and the children need me there with you.



I'm out of words to describe how I love you, no sentence or song can fill the void of my fingers on your skin, let alone the way your presence calms me.



I'm just floundering, repeating myself, and watching the toll it takes on you. You endure, I know, but it's not fair to you. I don't seem to be able to say anything that makes you feel better. Sometimes the more we talk, the worse you seem to feel, or the angrier you get, and ...



And I can't give you soothing kisses. I'm out of words, I never had any words, I never will have any words to take the place of my lips on your skin.



I'm sorry if the silence is wrong, it's all I have left.

My "private" journal entry below echoes Sapphires journal entry..



Only mine is longer and has no tact.. So Sapphy wrote her's to express what I could not without being a bitch about it.



:) YEAH SAPPHY!!!

I am sorry if any of my "friends" feel I do not have time for them anymore.



I have two households to maintain, two sets of bills to make sure are paid and two sets of budgets to keep track of.



One household is on the other side of the world from me and a 13 hour time difference away.. After this weekend I do believe it is going to be 14 hours time difference.



I have two children that take just about all of my attention when they are home, and when they are not... I have my own things I need to get done in a day before they get home.





I am sorry you do not understand that I have a life that does not involve being online, or on VR. What can I say I have priorities.



With that said.. It is me time..



IF any of my "friends" can not understand that well.. that is your problem/choice/issue, not mine. I have things to do and places to go.



Do not come to me complaining or whining or gripping about whatever.



I do respond to messages as I can when I can and mostly within 24 hours of being sent.



I try to let people know on MSN or Yahoo if I am busy and I try very hard to keep everything inline.



So with all of that said..



DEAL WITH IT, no one is forcing you to talk to me, no one is forcing you to be my friend.



If you can not have respect for me as an individual, then that is your loss not mine.

I do not know how many times I tell people this..



MAKE A BACK UP OF YOUR PROFILE AND PORTFOLIO BEFORE YOU EDIT IT.



If you mess up your profile then you can simply erase what is there and put back what you had before..



Unless of course you like starting over from scratch.. well then that is your issue not mine.